Today was a day I have been looking forward to and dreading for a long time. We had the chance to visit Dachau this morning, a concentration camp used by the Nazis to separate, and eventually exterminate, undesirables from the rest of the German population. To say it was surreal to be there would probably be the understatement of the century. Growing up, I went to the Jewish Community Center for preschool and daycare until about 4th or 5th grade. Not only then do I have many Jewish friends, but I was also taught about the Holocaust at a very young age. It has been something I have cared deeply about and had a strong connection with all of my life even though I’m not Jewish or necessarily related to anyone who was imprisoned in a camp. I have however met many Holocaust survivors as a result of going to the Jewish community center and know countless people who had family persecuted and killed in Nazi concentration camps. This aspect of my life has always made me feel it necessary to visit a camp, which this trip allowed me to do.
Honestly, ever since we arrived in Munich, thoughts of this day have been lingering in my head. I felt slightly uneasy and a little nervous because I wasn’t sure how I was going to react to seeing this. In any case, the train and bus rides to Dachau were tense for me. Being on a train on the way there was interesting because, although I was not packed into a dark, damp cattle car like prisoners of Dachau would have been, that’s how the prisoners arrived at camp. All I could think about the entire ride was all the reading I had done about this topic, all the stories of evil I have heard first hand and second hand, all the pangs of sadness that this topic bring me. It’s not something I was prepared for and I was very much wishing I had someone close to me there to help me through it.
When we got to the camp, my discomfort level skyrocketed. Our guide led us to the front of the gate that so relentlessly locked these innocent victims in their hell. The gate, as with all concentration camp gates, was labeled “Arbeit Macht Frei” or, in English, work makes you free. After standing outside for a while, avoiding the daunting idea that I needed to go in, I finally walked through the gate and into the main yard.
Freight Train. A freight train of emotion slammed right into me. It was suddenly real, suddenly not just a story in a book. It was right before my eyes and in my face and clawing at my heartstrings and memories. The funny thing is, it doesn’t look like the deranged torture complex that it once was. The day was beautiful; sun, sky, breeze and all. That may have been what made it even more moving and troubling to me; the sick juxtaposition of this day and this location, and of the past and present.
In that juxtaposition however, comes something beautiful and inspiring. After reading all the books I’ve read and talking to all the people I’ve talked to, I’ve come to stand in awe of hope. Hope. Just a simple emotion with the power to go against all odds no matter how troubling. In a place as evil and hate-filled as Dachau or any other concentration camp, hope can be hard to find. To think that gorgeous days like today with these same chirping birds definitely happened when this camp was filled with innocent prisoners is a conflicting thought. Days like today could have given some of these victims the hope and strength to carry on even after physically they should not be alive. That, to me was a beautiful and profound realization.
What makes me absolutely sick to think about is the idea that the stories and memories of the victims of the Holocaust be forgotten. There were other aspects that I encountered walking around the camp that were horrendous and sickening that I don’t need to get into. History tells that story for me in great detail. What I will say, is that visiting Dachau gave me a sense of peace and understanding that I will never, ever forget or fail to appreciate the intensity of their struggle. Their deaths although tragic, are not in vain and it is vitally important that as the last of the survivors pass on, future generations continue to tell this story and educate others so we can work towards making genocides and Holocausts merely things of history.
Today brought with it the full spectrum of emotion and it was exhausting. The freight train left me reeling and raw but also with a better understanding and acceptance of this tragedy and myself. Eye opening and moving, Dachau is an absolutely necessary experience for people traveling in this area.
May the lost souls of the millions known and unknown rest in peace with the knowledge that I will never forget their struggle.
Michelle
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